Secrets to a Happy Life

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"Well, honey, I smoke five packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "Five packs of cigarettes!! !"

"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight, " he said.