Zen Wisdom !!!

Zen Wisdom: 

o  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me either.  Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

o  The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.

o  It's always darkest just before dawn.  So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

o  Don't be irreplaceable.  If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

o  Always remember that you're unique.  Just like everyone else.

o  Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

o  If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

o  Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

o  If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

o  Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

o  If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

o  If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

o  Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

o  Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

o  The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

o  A closed mouth gathers no foot.

o  Duct tape is like 'The Force.'  It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

o  There are two theories to arguing with women.  Neither one works.

o  Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

o  Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

o  Never miss a good chance to shut up.

o  Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

 

__._,_.___